For 23 years I have lived
23 birthdays I have lived through
23 New Years I have seen
With 23 Fresh starts
Sometimes with the same resolution as the previous year
And ending up with the same problems
Or in the same predicaments
I sat today and unwapped my mind
And found the gift of realization inside
It was marked reality in a cardboard box
That had weathered every storm I had been through
All that was inside the box was a piece of paper
The contents read….
“You finally realized the change you need to make
To make change. People are going to be people
But you choose which ones you associate yourself with
Do you want to be needed, or do you feel the need to be wanted?
Do you want to feel important or actually be important?”
I was knocked out by these questions
It finally hit me
All my life I have always been needed for something
I could not recall a time I was needed simply because
I was important.
Who checks on me unless they need something?
Who got me something just because?
I can’t even remember the last compliment
I received randomly…
No wonder I am or feel like a loner
So now I am left with the question…
Does anyone understand?
I wouldn’t expect you to
You’re not me
So I continue silently typing
With a closed mouth
A fortress for a mind and a vaulted heart.