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I reminisce over days

Where you would be awakened

From your sleep by my call

Or you would wait up for hours

Just to hear my voice…

I thought little of it until I

Sat and pondered on the time difference

And the sacrifice you were making

Often feeling like you were fighting

You should have already had

All of me…

Now years later after hell has come and gone

I sit and ponder again

Chuckling at myself

And crying at the same time

Now I know what they mean when they say

The same thing that will make you

Laugh… will make you cry…

The shoe is on the other foot

And the sole has be scuffed beyond repair

From being drug with you

Trying to hold things together

Just for me….

And now I have to grip

To even trying to myself together

I feel the very pain

I now know the very sacrifice

And the anguish

Of feeling like you are in a battle

Alone seeking love…

Looks like a battle I lost long ago

But stayed on the battlefield

Not wanting to let go

Of the moment I had

The only chance I had at attaining victory

So I kept searching for it

Until I realized…

I was chasing a ghost

You had moved on and so had time

I was simply a foolish friend

Wanting more but needing to

Stop and actually take a long hard look at

What has happened

It’s over…

No more guns blazing and redemption

No more searching and sacrifice

I lost…

Or did I?

My heart still has hope

But the battle is over

I have no choice but to walk away

In hopes of you drafting me someday again

Til then…

I’ll be the quiet candidate.

Love always.

 

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