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For 23 years I have lived

23 birthdays I have lived through

23 New Years I have seen

With 23 Fresh starts

Sometimes with the same resolution as the previous year

And ending up with the same problems

Or in the same predicaments

I sat today and unwapped my mind

And found the gift of realization inside

It was marked reality in a cardboard box

That had weathered every storm I had been through

All that was inside the box was a piece of paper

The contents read….

“You finally realized the change you need to make

To make change. People are going to be people

But you choose which ones you associate yourself with

Do you want to be needed, or do you feel the need to be wanted?

Do you want to feel important or actually be important?”

I was knocked out by these questions

It finally hit me

All my life I have always been needed for something

Important but…

I could not recall a time I was needed simply because

I was important.

Who checks on me unless they need something?

Who got me something just because?

I can’t even remember the last compliment

I received randomly…

No wonder I am or feel like a loner

So now I am left with the question…

Does anyone understand?

Probably not

I wouldn’t expect you to

You’re not me

So I continue silently typing

With a closed mouth

A fortress for a mind and a vaulted heart.

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