How did I get to this point?

As I stare down this barrel

As life flashes before me like a story

Or one of Jesus’ parables.

They say life is a gamble; I bet for more than I had though

I bit off more than I can chew, and saddled more than I can handle.

So I ride this bull of life

Holding onto its reins as it rains tonight,

Not thinking twice in the fast lane of the one who reigns and gave me life,

How did I end up on this route?

Selling drugs and making enemies,

Not just everyone around me

But the biggest one is the “inner me”

My flesh is happy, but my spirit is

q u inching deep,

Thirsting for a positive life, so even my spirit isn’t even friends with me!

As tears run from my face, I think about the disgrace,

That I have become from what I’ve done,

And now there’s nowhere to run.

Is it too late to


To the people who prophesize

That if I don’t fix my life, and make it right

I will surely die?

Early from earthy dirt cheap fantasies

I am sad to see that I did not listen

To the visions that Pastor sees

So I continued to run the streets,

Instead of making good money, I wanted hood money,

Because this money was quick money,

dumb me…

How could I put “cents” before “sense”

So “since” I put “cents” before “sense”

A hit

man was “sent”

To take the one thing

That I never really thought about,

Living it in the fast lane, and never once even talked about,

M y life…

But now that it is playing before me like a movie

I see all of the scenes in which the devil used me,

excuse me…

I should have listened to grandma & mama

Before I started in this drama and caused all of this trauma

They are the ones that really hurt,

When I do not come home,

Staying out all night, which they did not condone,

so I was kicked out of the house,

Since I thought I was grown,

Boy was I wrong…

My nights are short, and the days are long,

Now I’m standing here in this alley, gasping for air

Watching this 44 Magnum as down the barrel I stare,

I have reached wit’s end now,

As I say this prayer,

In the confines of my mind,

As I listen to my slayer…

“Get on your knees” “Look at me”

As he cocks the gun back

I watched the revolver spin around

Then I watched it as it spun back

The hour had come,

I was about to get annihilated

I zoned in on the barrel,

As my pupils dilated,

He pulled on the trigger,

And as I thought I was hit

And that was it….

I found out either he can’t shoot or he missed!

Immediately I hear sirens,

And the blue lights revived me,

As I gave the Lord the Lord a dance

Thanking Him for another chance…


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